What Do You Want?

I was with my youngest's dad for about 4 years. We had our share of ups and downs. We had a pretty nasty break up. We have been apart for 12 years, the last 2 have been on good terms. We got together a few times during these last two years. He can't understand why I don't want to get together. He didn't satisify me during those encounters. When he gets his, he is done. That does absolutely nothing for me. He texted me to night asking would I be working in the morning. He wants to come by here in the morning to "bust a nut." This nigga has lost his everlasting mind. The only thing that he can do for me is be a father to his daughter. What really ticks me off is the fact that he does absolutely NOTHING for his daughter but wants to lay up in my ass. I will have to put him in his place once and for all.

For the Best

Well, things have certainly changed since the last post. I resigned from my position. I truly feel that was the best thing for me to do. I am home with my children and I am able to monitor things a lot closely. I am trying not to stress myself out about not having income but I am going to make it. Things will be alright. I have been submitting my resume daily since the day I left my job. I will remain positive and continue to pray. Not everybody knows that I have left my job and I am going to keep it that way.

There's Hope

I moved back home August 9, 2007. It was the best decision I made. Virginia wasn't the place for me. I knew coming home would have it's pros and cons. My relationship with my brother and dad hasn't improved but I won't dwell on it. Things with my mom is rather nice. We get along and can talk more. Lately, I have been thinking about just walking off my job. It has gotten to the point that I can't stand going up in the place. Before I get to the point that I don't give a damn at all, I need to walk away. I am going to make my resignation effective immediately first thing in the morning. I need to be home with my kids because they are getting at the point where they want to play games. My place is at home and that is where I am going to be. Things will fall into place.

Ready for 2007

This is just another day for me. I do plan to make some much needed changes. I am going to complete my book project. I put on the final touches this morning. I am going to type up everything later this afternoon. I have a few people that I am going to have read it and criticize. I am hoping to see this all the way through to publication. If I can pull this off, I have a few other ideas that I want to play around with.

When Does the Stupidness Stops

I am a little pissed today. Last night, I came home with 6 kids. 4 that aren't mine. I don't understand how parents can be so damn stoopid, not stupid. Here's the scenario. This couple has 4 kids. The oldest is 16 and pregnant. They are living in a hotel. The oldest sleeps on the floor and the three share a bed. The parents decided to invite a friend and his girlfried to stay the night. How in the hell can you invite someone over when you don't even have room for you and your family?!? The next to the oldest and my daughter kept calling to see if they could stay at my house because there wasn't enough room and they felt uncomfortable with the guy being there. The whole time I was saying that isn't my problem. I never, not once, heard from either of the parents. In the back of my mind, I can't help but think the parents put the kids up to this so they can go out and party. I told them before I came home that I wasn't going to grocery to get any groceries and I didn't want to hear any noise from any of them. I have never been so livid in my life. This is just ridiculous. From now on, there will not be anymore incidents like this. It's time to put my foot down and in someone's tail if I need to. I have the right to call and report this to CPS.

The Grass on the Other Side

I was talking with a coworker yesterday. She is really having some issues. I hate to see her going through the turmoil. But listening to her talk really made me think. We never know what a person goes through. We sit back and think our problems are so bad. I know I have some issues that I need to work on. We sat for about an hour or so and just talk. We have a few things in common. Neither of us wants to be here, we don't have any family here, don't really have friends and our moms are telling us we can do bad by ourselves. Her problem is a little more complicated because she is married. She looks at me and think I am so strong. Little just she know. I am determined to get out of this area. This place has too much negativity going on. I'm going to make it a reality. My goal for 2007 is to get out Cville.

Serious Thoughts

I am sitting at work with some serious thoughts. For starters, I do not want to be here. I don't think I will be working another Christmas. This has been a grueling year and I am ready to see it end. I didn't go all out for Christmas this year. Having to work really killed my spirit. I had some things to come up where I couldn't do the shopping that I wanted to. I usually surprise my girls big but this year, they got the things that they really wanted. I am a little disappointed with my family though. My mom will be up here in another two weeks and we agreed that she would bring the girls' presents up. She insisted that we meet halfway but I couldn't. The girls understood. Even though they did, I am still upset with myself. My dad and brother haven't said a thing about what they were going to do. I don't plan on going home anytime soon. My oldest will be turning 16 in two weeks. At first we were planning a coed sweet 16 but I was a little doubtful. She has settled for a Girls' Night. I don't know what I am going to get her. But I am going to make sure she has the best Girls' Night ever.

Lately, I have been dealing with a sorry DP. I have been wanting him to leave for the longest. After this last argument, it's going to become a reality AND I will be the one leaving. I don't know what makes him think I can't make it without him. For as long as I can remember, I have been the one to carry the household. The past few months, I have made him be more responsible and it's killing him. I don't have time to raise a grown man. He needs to high tail it back to his mom's where he wouldn't have to pay any bills.

I have been having feelings resurface for my youngest's dad. We have literally put each other through hell. He's mad because I won't forgive him of past child support. I told him that I wanted him back. I truly believe he's afraid to give us a second chance. He's not happy, I'm not happy. We have a history and things would be a lot better. I don't know. I am not going to chase him down NOR am I am going to be sitting around waiting on him either. We will see!!