When Does the Stupidness Stops

I am a little pissed today. Last night, I came home with 6 kids. 4 that aren't mine. I don't understand how parents can be so damn stoopid, not stupid. Here's the scenario. This couple has 4 kids. The oldest is 16 and pregnant. They are living in a hotel. The oldest sleeps on the floor and the three share a bed. The parents decided to invite a friend and his girlfried to stay the night. How in the hell can you invite someone over when you don't even have room for you and your family?!? The next to the oldest and my daughter kept calling to see if they could stay at my house because there wasn't enough room and they felt uncomfortable with the guy being there. The whole time I was saying that isn't my problem. I never, not once, heard from either of the parents. In the back of my mind, I can't help but think the parents put the kids up to this so they can go out and party. I told them before I came home that I wasn't going to grocery to get any groceries and I didn't want to hear any noise from any of them. I have never been so livid in my life. This is just ridiculous. From now on, there will not be anymore incidents like this. It's time to put my foot down and in someone's tail if I need to. I have the right to call and report this to CPS.

The Grass on the Other Side

I was talking with a coworker yesterday. She is really having some issues. I hate to see her going through the turmoil. But listening to her talk really made me think. We never know what a person goes through. We sit back and think our problems are so bad. I know I have some issues that I need to work on. We sat for about an hour or so and just talk. We have a few things in common. Neither of us wants to be here, we don't have any family here, don't really have friends and our moms are telling us we can do bad by ourselves. Her problem is a little more complicated because she is married. She looks at me and think I am so strong. Little just she know. I am determined to get out of this area. This place has too much negativity going on. I'm going to make it a reality. My goal for 2007 is to get out Cville.

Serious Thoughts

I am sitting at work with some serious thoughts. For starters, I do not want to be here. I don't think I will be working another Christmas. This has been a grueling year and I am ready to see it end. I didn't go all out for Christmas this year. Having to work really killed my spirit. I had some things to come up where I couldn't do the shopping that I wanted to. I usually surprise my girls big but this year, they got the things that they really wanted. I am a little disappointed with my family though. My mom will be up here in another two weeks and we agreed that she would bring the girls' presents up. She insisted that we meet halfway but I couldn't. The girls understood. Even though they did, I am still upset with myself. My dad and brother haven't said a thing about what they were going to do. I don't plan on going home anytime soon. My oldest will be turning 16 in two weeks. At first we were planning a coed sweet 16 but I was a little doubtful. She has settled for a Girls' Night. I don't know what I am going to get her. But I am going to make sure she has the best Girls' Night ever.

Lately, I have been dealing with a sorry DP. I have been wanting him to leave for the longest. After this last argument, it's going to become a reality AND I will be the one leaving. I don't know what makes him think I can't make it without him. For as long as I can remember, I have been the one to carry the household. The past few months, I have made him be more responsible and it's killing him. I don't have time to raise a grown man. He needs to high tail it back to his mom's where he wouldn't have to pay any bills.

I have been having feelings resurface for my youngest's dad. We have literally put each other through hell. He's mad because I won't forgive him of past child support. I told him that I wanted him back. I truly believe he's afraid to give us a second chance. He's not happy, I'm not happy. We have a history and things would be a lot better. I don't know. I am not going to chase him down NOR am I am going to be sitting around waiting on him either. We will see!!

Bitchin'

One thing I hate the most is a man that bitches more than a woman. He is always bitching about something. I don't let things get under my skin and he sees it as bad parenting or whatever the case may be. He walks around here all uptight, with bad headaches and a tight chest. There's no way in hell I am going to give myself a heart attack behind some stress. Everyday, I can expect him to bitch about something. If there's nothing to complain about, he will reach into the bag of the past. Then he wonders why I don't pay him any attention. All I say is, "I didn't put a gun to your head. You are free to leave at anytime."

Change on the Horizon

After passing a few words with my oldest's, I have some changes to make. I am taking my hands off a lot of things. I have been making sacrifices just so my kids will have things. Instead of getting my car fixed, I was concerned with giving them a nice Christmas. That's not appreciated. Both my girls have cell phones that they can't pay for. I told my oldest that she will need to pay her own bill from here and out. My youngest will have to give hers up unless she gets her dad to pay her bill. I am only doing what is required; I will provide a roof over their heads, put clothes on their back and food in their mouths. I am not going above and beyond. My oldest's birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas. I make sure she celebrates both on time but her dad is another story. Two of his sons have birthdays right after Christmas. I can guarantee they will celebrate each. He told her that she will get her Christmas and birthday after her birthday. That is such BS. Her grandmother (on his side) said the same thing. I am not sugarcoating things with them anymore and I am no longer going to be Ms Nice Guy anymore.

Favoritism in the Workplace

I went to work yesterday, my off day mind you, to try and get a little more handson with the new hematology instrument. They called themselves training me for a week. (It was more or less watching the machine while the person assigned to it was off somewhere else doing other things.) I still don't feel comfortable with the machine. Right before it was time to go, I had two specimens that needed extra work. I learned that after all I did, I still wasn't going to be able to accept the results because there was a function error. No one has explained function errors to me. Tomorrow, I am letting them know that I will not run the instrument anymore without being FULLY trained. We will see because I saw they have me scheduled to run it tomorrow BY MYSELF. I had planned on taking a few hours of FMLA to see my doctor and I am pretty sure she is going to pull me out of work.

Same Shit, Different Day

It's a shame when you can predict a person's every move. I have always said ER would keep this job until they get his child support order. Sure enough, he hasn't worked the entire week. He's trying to say it's because the job is so unorganized but I know for a fact, it's because he doesn't want to pay any child support. It's a cycle. He can have a good paying job but as soon as they request child support to be taken out of his check, he hauls ass. I just don't understand the sorriness. How in the hell can he talk about how others do when he does the exact same thing?!?

Motivation

Today, it's absent. I didn't want to get out of the bed. I ended up taking a FMLA day. I am going to take a hot bath a little later. Maybe it will help with my sore bones. I have a project that I would love to complete this weekend. I just can't ponder the energy. We will see how I get through the day!

Work Related

I like what I do. I just hate where I do it at. I can honestly say I have more stress at work than I do at home. And that's pretty sad. I dread going to work. For starters, I have to pay for parking. I park about two blocks away from where I work then I have to deal with some of the most ignorant people alive. I am constantly praying to get through the day without having to go off on somebody. My hopes are to find a job back home so I can leave all the madness but for the time being, I have to make the most of it.

Boiling Blood

I was heading out to work yesterday when I noticed my driver's side rearview mirror was gone. I got on in my car because if I would've came back in, I knew I would've ended up in jail with an attempted murder charge. I called to ask the clown where my mirror was. This MF had the nerve to say nonchalantly, "Oh, it got knocked off around the corner." Like it was absolutely nothing to him. That was my final straw. By this time, I hung up the phone because I didn't want to hear anymore of the BS. He kept calling back. The last time, I told him, "Do NOT call me unless you dying!" I was serious about that. It's always something. Well, this just put me on the track to get my shit together and move on. I am going to look for a place elsewhere. He can have all of this shit by himself. I am not going to say anything to him until then. He will know the day that I leave. Until then, I have absolutely nothing to say to him.

New Addiction

At one time, I was addicted to buying tennis shoes. I am still addicting to spending money but now it is on books. It would be ok if I brought one but lately, I have been buying at least three. I love reading and I can't seem to buy enough books. I like having the variety to choose from. Do you have any addictions?!?

Staying Positive

It's no secret that I am tired of my present employer. There are so many issues with that place. I have two interviews next week with a company out of town. I learned last night that the area is as expensive as the area I am currently in. I am going to stay positive and see what the job has to offer. I can adjust if need be. This time around, I am going to make sure I do my research before moving.